A month ago, I sat on our porch steps and watched the first leaves of fall tumble down the sidewalk. I stared off down the street and counted the empty houses and I was so tired I could scarcely breathe.
My baby girl raked leaves with a stick and if I could have gotten a hour alone, I would have curled up on the steps our porch and cried. My chest hurt and my wrist ached and my soul was busted up, a million little pieces scattered all over Avent street.
I tapped out a half-hearted post with one hand and then I closed the laptop, entering a season of quiet.
And to be honest with y’all, I don’t remember ever having felt so relieved.
I crawled between the sheets at 8:30 that night and then I did the same thing for the next seven nights after that.
It was glorious.
Somewhere between nights four and five, as my head hit the pillow, I remembered something about honoring the Sabbath and resting and Christ’s yoke being easy and light.
And I remember that I felt no guilt.
I fight the urge to bullet point all of the eye-opening moments of the past 36 days because it’s easier to list them for you than to take the time to show you God in all the moments.
But I believe we’re meant to show one another the story of God as much as we’re meant to tell the story, so I’ll spare you the list of things I’ve gleaned from simply being and instead, give you a glimpse of the daily grind here on Avent.
And I’ll ease myself back into wrangling words later this week. (I mean it’s Monday, for pete’s sake.)
I nursed a fractured wrist and successfully exterminated 37 billion fleas and wrote letters that actually made their way to the mailbox.
I gave myself freedom to create and bake and not clean up the mess I made.
I sat on the porch for the sheer love of fall and I took upwards of a 100 pictures of the pumpkins that sit on our steps.
I kept my mums alive- (first time ever).
I loved on my chickens and memorized all the words to “What Does the Fox Say?”
I watched Duck Dynasty. (I have nothing else to say about that.)
The Man and I spent a weekend with some dear friends in Iowa celebrating an ordination and I was reminded that God loves His church.
I spent hours listening to that same Man dream audacious dreams while simultaneously talking out the guideposts of The Gifts of Imperfection and I remembered why I love him like crazy. (And in case you are wondering, The Gifts of Imperfection will rock your world. Read it.)
I attended our local high school’s Homecoming and watched my girl cheer her little heart out and for the first time since moving to Rocky Mount, I was a spectator at a community event that I longed to belong to. I caught a glimpse of God’s heart for our place and it kind of left me undone.
I passed an abandoned house down the street and then stopped the car to rescue one little fur ball that we have now named Bo.
I shirked off an old layer of legalism and devoured a A Year of Biblical Womanhood. I’ll let you form your own opinion about the book, but it’s absolutely worth a read.
I participated in an online book study.
I practiced the Sabbath.
I discovered that I have no aspirations of writing a book. I sorta want to just live really small on Avent street and blog here.
I changed my self talk to include compassion and grace and then I gave God space to love me.
And y’all, this morning I am free.
And I have missed y’all something fierce.
So tell me, what have you done/learned/been shown this month?
(Here’s a bonus pic. The kids were the Black-eyed Peas. Genius, huh?)