So it’s Friday.
You’re tired and I’m tired and we’re probably both bleary-eyed, so I’ll make this fun and painless for us all.
Maybe you’ll laugh or cry or do a happy dance right in your cube…some of you may do all 3.
And some of you will do none of the above because, well, you’re about to skip this post and go back to scrolling Facebook.
Go back to your scrolling.
1. The weatherman at our local NC station likes to forecast a chance of showers. Every. Single. Day. If he predicts a 20% chance of rain, you can rest assured that it will rain cats and dogs all day. Especially if you have planned a family fun day at the zoo. True story.
2. A 36-year-old man can, in fact, join the rest of the world and sign up for a Facebook account. And he can find his friends with a little help from his awesome wife.
3. If you leave 2 children alone in the bathroom for longer than 20 minutes, 1 child may lose an eyebrow and 1 child may lose all of the hair on one arm. And both children will be considered lucky for not losing their hiney upon being discovered.
4. A mama cat will only clean up her kittens’ business for 4.6 weeks. After 4.6 weeks, the kittens’ humans will need to supply a litter box. Or scoop poop from the mud room floor.
5. Always turn on the bathroom light before walking barefoot across the floor at 11:30 at night. If not, your bare feet may just step onto a small, wet, smooshy something that you might just mistake for a slug. Or it might be your potty-training baby’s leftover doodie business that never quite made it into the potty.
6. Living in the hood has its perks. We “rented” Oz: The Great and Powerful before you could buy it on DVD. We were given a bootleg copy a week before it was released in stores. Thank you porch swing kids.
7. And in order to survive in my neighborhood, the kid from down the street taught me how to hold a full guard. I also learned that I should work my calf muscles everyday, just in case my full guard doesn’t work against the person trying to beat me up. If I work my calf muscles, I’ll be able to run away really fast. That’s what Kevon said, anyway. He has trust worthy face, right?
8. I do not like The Alchemist. At all. I think I may be the only person in the world who does not get this book. I quit halfway through it and I make no apologies.
9. I can say no to things and not feel guilty about saying no. I am a 35-year-old woman who is discovering the freedom in this 2 letter word and I smile as I tell you this. I am a good girl in recovery and I am loving this next chapter in my life. Thank you Jesus.
10. God can use a homesick girl to bring glory to Himself. He can give her a few hours in the place she calls home, weave a story of glory and grace and His goodness, and then move her fingers across a keyboard to spin words into pictures. And He can choose to tell His story through her words over at (in)courage and it’s Bloom Bread & Wine summer book club. (coming July 12!)
And I am humbled beyond words.
Happy Friday, y’all.
I hope I made you laugh out loud.
Or at least smile.