I cut rectangles of paper and glue small hearts to name tags and I bite my lip a little harder with each tag I finish.
I hang triangles and letters from the mantle and I order books for each one and all the while, my own heart is pounding in my chest.
I can’t breathe.
I prayed for 5 brave ladies, thought I may have 3, and I have wrung my hands at the thought of an empty house for this study that I have had on the calendar for 5 months.
One Thousand Gifts.
Really, I can’t breathe.
My hands tremble with each cut of the scissors and I drop the glue stick for the umpteenth time and I hear every lie whispered in my ear:
“What were you thinking? Are you crazy? You can’t fit that many ladies in your house, let alone provide enough parking spaces. You don’t have time for this. And how in the world can you offer something to others when you don’t live it yourself?”
Incompetent pastor’s wife.
Ungrateful, grumbling, selfish woman.
I read through the list of names and I watch Ann on the dvd and I pour over her words and God’s words and I try to find my courage in His words.
I do what I’ve done for over 365 days and I do the next thing, even when I’m not certain of how my steps will order themselves in God’s grand plan. I pick up toys and plan Tuesday night’s snack menu and I grocery shop. I finish the name tags and I breathe.
I pick up my book and I let truth seep into my soul and I give thanks.
951. Seventeen brave ladies taking the Joy Dare.
*If I cross your mind between now and Tuesday at 7, please fall prostrate on the floor and cry out to Jesus on my behalf. I need patience with the kids as we begin school on Monday, strength to add 2 more children to our family 3 days a week, and courage to do this thing that I believe the Lord is asking me to do. I’m scared and anxious and joyful, all at the same time. I covet your prayers.