Days of rain and clouds and cold temperatures have beckoned me to be still and quiet.
I’m not good at being quiet, but who can hear the Lord without being still? Without hushing?
Lies sound like a clanging cymbal and His voice whispers truth and I’m so loud I miss the truth in all my noisy words.
We jump rocks in the river and soak up the sun’s warmth and reach our hands out into the cool ripples of water on Saturday, the first day of full sunshine and warm rays of light.
Thoughts swirl in my head like the water lapping around each rock the kids jump over and I try to name gifts to quiet my mind.
“Can we please jump all the way over there?” the oldest boy asks. “We won’t get wet. Promise.”
I nod and watch those little men jump from rock to rock a little too fast. I bite my tongue and let them go, further than I think they should.
They’re brave, those boys of mine and his. Fearless, really. I’m perched on a rock, close enough to hear them, but far enough away to not be able to reach them should one fall into the shallow water.
They turn and grin and I see their dad in them.
Not just in the blue eyes and red hair, but in the way they stand there, on those rocks, ready to jump should one, tell the other to do so.
The girls join the boys and I’m left alone on my rock, chewing my lip, swallowed up in my own skin.
I stand on tiptoes and I want to be brave.
I look over at my blue-eyed man, standing with my two babies, and I know his heart wants to be brave, too.
We long to know, deep down in our souls, that God can redeem this.
To really know that He is working all things together for His glory and for our good.
To know that He has not forgotten us, although we wake each morning to faces that we scarcely recognize.
We gather the kids and I walk behind the people that I love, my eyes lingering on those little bodies that the Lord has given to us and I begin the counting again.
…rocks for jumping
…minnows, close enough to touch
…smiles on faces and blue eyes that dance
…a Redeemer who is always redeeming what the locusts have eaten