As Neil Cole hung those words in the air last night, I knew the answer to that question.
It’s the question that I have been wrestling with for the last year, except that it was jumbled up in something more like, “Who am I?”
As most of you know, I’ve been working out my story over the last 20 days and trying to find Jesus in all the words I’ve written. I thought I would find me in all of this and figure out how I fit into this life I’ve been given.
Funny thing is, I haven’t found me at all.
For a year now, my church planter has read almost every word Neil Cole has ever written. We’ve been walking out his method of disciple making and having public baptisms and planting the gospel in all kinds of soil. We’ve been leading life transformation groups, doing service projects, and loving the unlovable.
But we’ve also spent a year asking a lot of wrong questions:
What time should we have our church gathering?
What day should we gather together?
What should we do with the kids?
Who is our target audience?
How should we handle our giving?
They sound really trivial and a tad bit idiotic as I write them out for you.
And they really are.
They’re also a lot like my own question: Who am I?
The harsh, yet sweet, reality, is that it doesn’t matter what time we meet or where we meet or how we spend the money. It doesn’t even matter if we drink or chew or date those who do. It doesn’t matter if our target audience is predominately African-American or white or rich or poor.
And it doesn’t matter if I’ve lived a lot of years adorning myself in a cloak of goodness and hiding out as a pastor’s wife.
The main question of the heart of every one of us should be this one: Who is Jesus to me?
I smile tonight, as I ponder this thought.
He is one word to me: Grace.
Who is He to you?