I walk in the door from Bible Study Fellowship, and there he sits, wearing his reading glasses, the pair with the one ear piece missing. They rest on the bridge of his nose as he taps the keys on his laptop.
“Whatcha doing?” I ask.
“Praying”, he responds without even looking up.
He is several days deep into another 40 days of prayer, trying to find Jesus in this call to Rocky Mount. Just like last year, he is journaling every prayer for 40 days. He is expecting an answer by November 1.
We both are.
We’ve walked through every open door and we now wait for Jesus to light the way for the next leg of this journey.
I put my 3 oldest to bed and I sit down next to him. I know that this 40 days of prayer is for our good and His glory and I want to sit next to the man who loves Jesus more than me.
I trust him to hear and obey.
We throw words around, but it is in the silence that I feel peace.
I have joined him in this 40 days of prayer, but my 40 days are more about me than the ministry. I haven’t spent more than 10 days looking at my soul in 15 years. I feel a deep need for more and I too, expect the Lord to move on my behalf.
I’ve given up my life for this, Lord. I expect You to move.
I need You to move.
I need You to make Your ways known and I need You to fling wide the doors to radical new life.
I need You to pour out grace upon grace upon grace.
I need You to show me You are who you say You are.
I need You to make this worth it.
He closes the laptop and removes his glasses. I notice the lines on his hands and a lifetime flashes before my eyes.
We’re getting older and the sands in the hourglass seem to fall faster than ever.
I steal a look into his face and I know that I want to do life with this man. Forever.
It’s worth it-all of it.
No matter how the Lord chooses to move.