It’s early morning and the baby just arrived and I still have freshly cut flower petals strewn on my kitchen counter from last night’s attempt at flower arranging. Color in a vase to bring beauty to my grey.
I scurry around with a dust cloth and hit the spots I missed yesterday. My little people begin to trickle down the stairs, one at a time. They each contribute their own pile of crumbs to the table and I wipe it one more time.
I swish the toilet clean and hide the dirty underwear. I wipe the toothpaste from the sink and put away all the stuff that I put on my face. A new hand towel in place and I’m done.
Everyone begins to get dressed and put away pajamas and they ask a hundred times, “When is she coming?”
I answer with the same answer each time, “Before lunch. Just be patient.”
We swing a little and wait and then she comes.
She gets the full Harris welcome and everyone runs out the door to see someone they don’t really know. I smile and exhale slowly.
“I want to see a tour”, she says. “Can someone take me upstairs?” I die inside. I haven’t been upstairs since last week before I got sick. I can only imagine the horror.
They take a tour and I feel like someone who has been caught with my pants down.
“How bad was it?”, I ask.
She smiles, “Not bad, I would tell you.”
I show her the whole house and tell her the story and we retreat to the porch swing, per her request. She wants the full Harris experience and the kids give it to her. All of it, at one time, and she doesn’t run away screaming.
My heart begins to melt a little and I sit with her on the swing and we chat about the important stuff.
“What does Lori want?”, she asks.
“I just want to cry,” I say. And she tells me to go ahead. So I do. Not the big and ugly cry, but the kind that makes your soul feel a little lighter.
The Lord gifts us with a precious few moments alone and I really try to find words to make her see. To make my tears make sense. And I know they do. Her eyes speak without words and those few moments on the swing are like a soothing balm.
When my heart is raw, He knows. And He provides the balm…today, through another person who just wanted to get the Harris experience.
He is so good.
And on another note, it did my soul good for my body to get caught with its pants down.