Sometimes, when the body is sick, the Lord has the opportunity to swoop in and heal the soul.
As I laid on the examination table at Quick Care, my chest was aching, and my eyes were watching the clock. How long does it take to read an x-ray?
“It’s not pneumonia, but what you have is worse than bronchitis,” the doctor said. “Have you been feeling run down?”
I looked at him like he was crazy and said, “I’ve been feeling run down since my first baby arrived. That was eleven years ago.”
I left with 2 prescriptions and an order of 2 weeks worth of rest and crawled into bed, handing the family over to Thad.
I pulled the sheets up around my neck and gave into the weariness that I felt down to my bones. My chest ached with each breath but my mind wouldn’t slow enough for sleep to come.
When your body hurts, it is easy for Satan’s lies to become believable and for about 12 hours I laid in the bed and just listened to all of his whispers.
But I also listened to my family through the walls of our old home. I heard a daddy trying to land a new location to host our home church. I heard Tanner the dog, let himself in the back door and run through the house making the babies squeal. I heard my older girls helping their daddy try to fix meals and clean up the house. I heard complaints about meals served and showers that were ordered to be taken. I heard crying and fighting and back talking and things being slammed and feet being stomped.
And I realized that they need me.
They need me to stop listening to the lies of Satan and stop being so fearful of getting cancer that I can’t imagine life past the age of 40. They need me to get in the game, whole-heartedly, and plan to really live the next 40 years. Thad needs me to stop joking about “when I get cancer…”.
When the doctor ordered an x-ray of my chest, I didn’t hear pneumonia. I heard cancer. While I waited for the results, I prepared myself for the things that would happen next: oncologist visits, maybe radiation and chemotherapy, my hair falling out, and the list could go on. And Satan ran away with my thoughts.
As I laid in the bed and Greenley crawled in next to me, I should have shooed her out, but I didn’t. I snuggled her close and counted my blessings. I am so blessed and so needed.
And God is so great, much greater than my fear of cancer.