I have many good intentions.
I started a scrapbook for my first born before she was born. I spent a small fortune on a good camera, film (yes, my camera used film 10 years ago), and scrapbook material. I took hundreds of pictures and filled up a book with her first year. Then Audrey came and I took more pictures and filled a book with her first 6 months. Seventeen months later, Joisah came. I took pictures, and I filled 2 pages of a book devoted to his first year of life. Isaac arrived 2 years later and I took a few pictures. He doesn’t even have a book. Poor Ainsely and Greenley have only a few pictures saved on SD cards or hard drives to our computers.
I have broken computers that I can’t part with because they are full of my attempt to hold on to what is quickly slipping through my hands.
I have a drawer full of small video tapes, 4×6 pictures, school pictures, old college photos, family photos, and empty frames. Our scrapbooks are shelved in a safe place. I have boxes of my life stored away.
And I never sift through any of the momentos of our legacy because I can’t bear to reflect on what has been. Opening a drawer of baby pictures opens the flood gates of tears and longing.
So I save them, and hope that one day the longing and happy-saddness that comes with savoring what the Lord has done, fades.
I know it never will and I really don’t want it to. Looking back, swells my heart and draws me into sweet communion with the Lord who has given good gifts and directed our paths. The tears are an outward acknowledgment of His goodness and His glory. My drawers hold the visual story of this life He is giving me.
” I will hope continually and will praise you yet more and more. My mouth will tell of your righteous acts, of your deeds of salvation all the day, for their number is past my knowledge. With the mighty deeds of the Lord God I will come; I will remind them of your righteousness, yours alone. O God, from my youth you have taught me, and I still proclaim your wondrous deeds. So even to old age and gray hairs, O God, do not forsake me, until I proclaim your might to another generation, your power to all those who come.” Psalm 71: 14-18
What about you, what do your drawers hold? What kind of story do your photos tell?