I am homesick today. Homesick for familiarity of people and ministry. Homesick for what I like to remember as being easy. It wasn’t, but in my mind’s eye, it sure seems that way now. I am homesick to be a part of a larger organization that helps to carry the load when things get hard.
For the eighth day straight, I have scraped up paint from 100 year old hardwood floors.
We unloaded our U-Haul into this home on December 26 and then renovated the home around our stuff. We did a room, cleaned it, and then unpacked that room so we could move on to the next one. It was a daunting task for 2 very green DIYers and we only managed it by focusing on one room at a time. When we were dealing with cracked plaster and bathrooms that needed to be gutted, these small drips of paint weren’t even seen under the thick coating of sheetrock and plaster dust.
Now, after weeks of cleaning, these small drips are all I see. They are everywhere. I have scraped, scratched, and tried to wash them up. Some of them are less noticable now, but they are still there and I know it.
For months, I have lived with the illusion that when we moved in, the work would be over and life would be easy. I tell you today, with paint under my nails and sore knees, this work will never be over. The house will never be finished and this work in Rocky Mount will never be complete. It will never be easy and the load will fall on the shoulders of a few. It will be hard and it will always be messy.
Today, the newness of everything is overwhelming and I miss what I know. My soul cries out for the easy.