My heart is burdened to share a thought with you this morning. I hope you receive it and wrap it in grace as you tuck it away in your own heart.
I really struggled with our move from Dallas to Rocky Mount for several reasons. I believe that one reason centered around the fact that I believed that Thad was more valuable to the body at Fellowship than to a few individuals in the living room of our home. I felt that he was wasting the education he(we) had spent 7 years obtaining. I also knew that he had so many opportunites that he would not have in a small town and by leaving full-time vocational ministry we risked the possibility that this move would be a permanent change. If things didn’t work out in Rocky Mount, what would he do for a living?
My struggle with this move was also centered around the fact that I had spent so many years in a hamster wheel of busyness that I was concerned about what I would do when I got out of it. My identity was centered around what I did. Who would I be without the Parent Leadership Board, the children’s ministry, MOPS, Bible studies, buying goldfish, cleaning up classrooms, and cooking meals for new moms? The list could go on. I liked all that I did and I felt full because I considered it a labor of love. My heart was full, but not my soul.
I have spent months trying to figure out life outside the wheel. January and February of this year were a challenge. I withdrew and really spent some time in true self-examination. I began to journal and the Lord began to point out some painful things about who I am. I have spent so much time being consumed with what I do that I have forgotten who I am. The Lord cares about my heart and it needs a lot of work.
Please give me grace as the Lord continues to strip me of my desire to be busy.
As you go about your weekend and begin your week on Monday, consider your heart: Do you spend more time filling your calendar with good things, or do you give God space to shape your heart into a heart that is after His?
Much Love, |